Angela Speak

Do you ever make words up?

I do it all the time, sometimes even consciously.

As a young person I was convinced that eleventeen actually existed between the numbers ten and twelve. I even argued with my teachers about it.

I also love obficious (describing someone who is both annoyingly insensitive and interfering) and one of my favourite wordcoctions (don’t hate spam me – I know it’s not in the dictionary) is flibbertigibbet. Oh alright, flibbertigibbet is an actual word, (from Middle English) but it’s just such fun to say:

“You’re nothing but a flibbertigibbet!”

And it’s totally appropriate that someone as prone as I am to being overly talkative should admire a word that people in certain parts of England use for a gossip or chatterbox.

There are, of course, many times when I accidentally mix up words. Like the occasion I was driving with my son and the word mosquito came out as spaghetti. It’s a slip anyone could easily make.

I can’t tell you the number of times I have erroneously ordered French flies at fast food restaurants. Thankfully, they aren’t on the menu, so the canny staff have always substituted with the potato variety.

Sadly, I have always had a hard time getting names right, often having to run through a whole repertoire before I land on the correct one, which I understand can be insulting when the list includes cartoon characters and literary authors.

“Hey there Bugs, I mean Mickey, I mean Shakespeare, I mean Chaucer, oh for goodness’ sake, Bill, it’s Bill. George, right, I meant George.”

It can be quite amusing (for others) when I mix up my consonants such as when I cuss the fat (fuss the cat) or low the mawn (mow the lawn). The correct term for this muddle-headedness is spoonerism.

Thank goodness there is a term for it because that suggests other people suffer from the same affliction and I won’t need speech therapy sessions.

There’s always the chance that Angela speak will catch on as an alternative for the vocabulary-challenged, maybe even be adopted as Canada’s third official language. I am offering lessons – be sure to sign up early.

Photo by Joshua Hoehne on Unsplash